Month 14 – Moving Forward, Brightly, Brightly and with Beauty!

Hey, my people!  Here’s my month 14 post-op post.  Just wanted to update you on how my life is going and offer you some encouragement, as always.

So, to get the main detail out of the way, here’s my weight loss progress.  Today, I’ve reached my lowest weight so far.  I’m down to 233.4 lbs (105.6 kgs), which is 194 lbs (87.9 kgs) lost from my highest weight of 427 lbs (193.6 kgs). I’m still technically obese at 33.4 BMI but, as you all know, I don’t give a damn about that!  I’ve seen a resolution to all my health issues which included high blood pressure, type-2 diabetes, edema in my legs, joint pain and other various ills.

So, what’s up in my life these days?  My life is very much the same and radically different, at the same time.  So, having lost all my weight, I’m not the raving manwhore that some people would think I’d be.  As a matter of fact, with the loss of my primary mate relationship, I’m basically uninterested in dating or mating.  I was unemployed from Sept. 2011 to Feb. 2012 and now have a temp to hire position with a great company.  My boss is a wonderful woman who is straight forward, up front and doesn’t play office politics or games.

So the details.  Those of you who have followed me from the beginning know that I was with my ex from day one of my surgery.  If I had to be honest, there were cracks in the ice then but, I was and remain grateful for what support she was able to offer through my tough times.  It wasn’t enough in that, I need more interaction emotionally than she appears to be capable of. However, even as things deteriorated and continue to do so, I still think the world of her.  I’m just aware that she is not going to be what I need in the long term.  I wish her the best of luck in finding exactly what she needs and wants in a mate because, I’m not it.

At this point, I want to link to a PDF study about the interpersonal changes that happen post-op, in your relationships.  While the vast majority of us experience very positive changes (and I surely have), there is the potential for negative ones too and we need to understand those possibilities as well.

As I’ve stated before and will continue to do so, please get counseling, pre and post-op.  The surgery doesn’t fix your broken minds and hearts and there are many choices and things that you’ve done that are nearly inextricable from the fact of your obesity.  As you lose the weight that held you down, you’ll lose protections, excuses and defenses from the piles of shit that you’ve allowed to build up in your life over decades, in most cases.  You’ll have to learn new ways of living with yourself, your loved ones and the world as a whole and counseling will help you to do this.  Don’t put it off, my people!

Here’s a bit about the new job.  I work as a Facilities Coordinator for a large chemical company.  Basically, I setup meeting areas for employees, coordinate repairs and maintenance with outside vendors, move and setup offices and cubicles and maintain the maps of the complex.  Previously, I worked at Aetna and I was chained to a desk and phone all day, bored out of my fuckin’ mind!  That’s not the case at this new job.  There are days where I’ll walk/run over five miles (8 km) through the complex.  Getting paid to exercise is just awesome!

Another thing I’m happy about is that I’ve been able, recently, to begin to see and do for my kiddos again. I’ve been talking with my kids’ mom and my daughter, trying to rebuild some good will with them and it’s going well.  The best part is building a relationship with my son.  He’s such a lovey bug!  When I see him, he comes up to me and says, “Huggys, Dad” and wraps his arms around my waist.  I’m deeply in love with that boy.

Anyway, that’s all that’s been happening over the last couple of months.  I’ll do a video for Month 15 and post it here.  I’m very pleased with where my life is, these days.  If you haven’t considered the Duodenal Switch or any weight-loss surgery, please do some research.  Obesity can be treated and in a very effective way with WLS.  It’s not the ‘easy way out’ or a panacea to fix your entire life.  It’s a tool and a very effective one to allow you to rebuild the life you may have lost to fat, sickness and pain.  Do your due diligence and see what could be your future.  Take a risk and get your life back.  Until next time, I wish you all the best of luck, love, joy and peace!

So, it’s my birthday and, in two more days, my surgiversary!  So, in honor of such an hallowed occasion, I’ve posted my longest video yet!  Please click the link below to watch it, live and in living color.  Enjoy peeps!  I know the wait has been long but, the Mack is back.

9 Months Post-Op Update – Is It Love?

So, I decided not to do a video this time.  I’m going to just sit here and put electrons to LCD and speak my piece.  Nine months, y’all!  Wow!  As usual, I’m blown away by what I’ve experienced with my DS.  So, first things first.  My lowest weight, so far has been 250 pounds, a total of 177 pounds from my highest weight of 427.  I’ve not lost very much this month and that’s fine by me! Hell, I was happy 65 pounds ago so, I won’t be complaining.

What’s up with me?  Well, as you guys know, I lost my job in September.  That’s been a tough thing to deal with financially but, my spirits (can an atheist talk about spirits…lol) are pretty high.  I’m still continuing to broaden my life experiences, as much as I can.  Part of the mental issues I went through was the feelings of shame and loss.  Specifically, I was pretty down on myself because of a lot of choices I either made or didn’t make.  I can clearly see where I basically let my life pass me by and I wasn’t very happy about that at all.  As of today, my commitment to find the life that works for me has been a life-saver; even with all the changes that have occurred.

In the title of the post, I asked a question in reference to my DS.  Is it love?  The answer is a resounding “hell yeah”!  I literally feel better than I have in ages.  Not just physically but, mentally and emotionally too.  Also, the level of stress in my life has gone way down.  I don’t worry about dying like I did before (although technically I’m still dying like the rest of us).  I don’t know how many times, in previous videos and posts, that I mentioned about my grandfather.  He was only 42 years old when he died from congestive heart failure.  Everyday, I looked at myself and I KNEW that I was headed in the same direction.  High blood pressure, nearly diabetic, edema in my legs, circulation problems, sleep apnea, back pain, knee pain, joint pain in general and a host of other smaller issues, was what I was dealing with every day.  What’s worse is that I was deathly afraid of going to the doctor.  If I had a ten dollar bill for every time a doctor harped on me about my weight, I’d be mad paid!  I know they mean well (I hope) but, getting told that, when you’re having the hardest time even taking a flight of stairs, is just like kicking a dog when they’re down.

There have been some transitions and changes, not just physically but, mentally, emotionally and within my relationships.  One of the things I’ve repeatedly stressed and will again, right now, is please go get some counseling, people!  The surgery helps to heal your body but, it does nothing for your mind.  I carried around the burden of having to carry every relationship I’ve ever been in.  Because I was unworthy to even look at, those who chose to have me in their lives would get the best friend, lover and person I could be.  I was willing to accept so little from everyone.  I sit here typing this with a bit of a sigh; as I look back and see just were my shit self-esteem and people pleasing left me.  I was willing to be anything to anyone, except myself to me.  This is sickening, people!  This is something you’ll have to face in your own journey.  There were choices you made and/or left unmade because of your weight.  Obesity wasn’t just your body, it was your mentality, your feelings and everything else.  Everything from what you wore, where you parked your car, who you did or didn’t talk to, who you dated, who you loved and let love you…EVERYTHING…it all was affected by your obesity, whether you admit it or not.

You may find that people you that you thought you chose to have around you, were there with their own agendas.  That there was something that they gained by being with you, at your expense.  Maybe they wanted someone who would feel so glad to have them, that they would do anything to keep them.  Maybe your being so down on yourself gave them the boost they needed to feel good about themselves.  Maybe they just loved you but, liked you when you were bigger.  There’s a host of reasons why you might be feeling and noticing what you’re discovering about the people in your life.  All I’m saying is don’t ignore these things.  Some relationships become stronger because of trial.  Others break.  It’s all fine, just as long as there is a resolution.

Anyway, 9 months and I’m friggin’ happy.  I want to do more with my life and I will.  For now, however, I’m satisfied.  Thanks to all of those who supported me, without reservation, during this new journey!  Thank you to all of you who find any inspiration from me.  Good luck to everyone about to make this journey or who have started their own journey.  Trust me, there’s more to come!  Until next month, smile a lot, love deep, be happy and be well, my friends!

7-8 Month Post-Op Video Update

So, peeps, another few months have flown by and I’ve got a new vid up on YT for your viewing enjoyment. Have fun!

6 Months Post Op – The Other Side of Normal

So, I’ve hit half a year post op and I’m happier than a clam.  I’ve started to see the other side of normal and things are getting better and better.  So, get better with me and click the video link below, people!

5 Month Post-Op Video Update

Wassup, peeps!  In this video, I talk about jealousy, labs and a broken plateau.  Enjoy!

Twoterville…for real this time!

So, it’s official.  I stood on the scale, no mistakes, no props and even better, actually having lost the weight, and I’m in Twoterville!

I’m ecstatic and I’m loving the SHIT outta my DS!  Let’s see where we go from here, shall we, people?

4 Months Post-Op – Plateau

Here’s my four month update.  Yes, this was truly the stall month of stall months.  Enjoy!

3 Months Post-Op – Update

For my three month update, I did another video for everyone.  So, without further ado, please, enjoy the video!

Special Update – The Century Club

Today, I stepped on the scale and looked in amazement as those magic numbers displayed themselves…324 lbs.  My surgeon has my official highest weight at 424 (my highest recorded weight by me was 427) so, officially, I am now a member of the Century Club.  To lose one hundred pounds is amazing.  To know that I’m going to be able to keep it off is even more amazing.  My skin is so flabby now that it’s crazy.  On my back, my thighs, my stomach and especially my arms, I’ve got droopy skin all over the place. Personally though, I don’t give a damn.  Even if I end up looking like a bipedal Shar Pei, I’ll still be happy.

Here’s a very recent picture of me and a comparison shot from before.

 

I’m glad to be down one hundred pounds and look forward to the next 100.